Canadian Parenting

Presence

A lot of people asked me to write about cultural differences between Canada and Azerbaijan. It would be challenging to explain the cultural differences before mentioning the main reason why we are so different from each other. It all comes down to very different parenting philosophies between eastern and western cultures. Majority of our cultural differences are mainly coming from the way we are raised.

Eastern Parenting tends to emphasize obedience, respect for authority, and academic achievement, while western parenting often prioritizes individualism, creativity, and self expression. However, its is important to note that these are generalizations and individual families may have unique approaches to parenting in both cultures.

Below I would like to share some Canadian parenting values I noticed while living in Canada and raising two children:

Practicing presence

When I came to Canada one thing, I noticed straight away is how Canadians give a lot of energy to their loved ones. And it's almost like they don’t ever suffer from burnouts. Which I’m sure they do. However Canadian people seemed to be very giving people. Majority of people I met, made me understand one thing for sure. Love is giving. Love is not for takers or people who expect something back. Only giving people know what true love is. You love somebody you give them your time and best energy. And this is what means practicing presence. It is basically making time to slow down and connect with your loved ones.

In Canada I started to see much more healthier families. Healthier women and men who are giving. Parents who work as unit and give their best energy to their children and show them they are the priority. And to be honest these people became quite an example to me in my life and made me reevaluate everything I thought I knew about family values.

Being a present parent is very different from being just an ordinary parent. It’s not only about physical presence but emotional as well. Being a present parent requires specific level of maturity, responsibility, and consciousness than some ordinary parents have.

At the end of the day what our children mostly crave from us is our time. Children want to be seen by their parents. And unfortunately, there are still a lot of children who never feel seen or understood by one or both parents in both cultures. However, in the west people know much more about practicing presence. And a lot of parents have been practicing it for generations. As a result, you can see much more conscious parents in Canadian society. The difference in maturity of parents in Azerbaijan and Canada is very noticeable. In Canada a lot of fathers seem to be as caring and present as mothers. Especially generation of millennials seem to be giving more energy to their loved ones than any other generation.

Lack of presence leads to poor quality of relationships with your loved ones. Even one generation of present parents can give future generations brighter future by not leaving them with the generational trauma to recover from.

Being positive, playful, patient, loving and kind parent is not easy. Showing up for your children every day and connecting with them requires you to do a lot of inner work and become a better person. Practicing presence doesn’t require you to be a perfect parent. It requires you to show up and do your best. And with practice you become a better parent. You grow to understand your children, improve communication, and build a stronger connection.

My own husband, who is Canadian, is amazing family man who runs home from work every day to make sure we have supper together as a family, clean together, play with our children and put our kids to bed together. His priority in life is to be a good husband and a father. And the way he does it is through showing up and being present. This is his love language. And let me tell you it’s the best love language that exists.

Twins